Jessy Assy

Stop proofreading, you’re done, decide already

 loving Christian upbringing

        lifetimes ago

with haunting reminiscences

                      long lasting friendships

                              and always wanting to be yours

in defiance of books, lessons, seminars

                               painful breakups -

latching causes and statements

                      supporting the gays 

some courses passed, UNETHICALLY

       once

           twice

               three times

                        then hating myself when I couldn’t protect you

          from the beginning of drinking

to the beginning of overdrinking

                then rehab

                       though I got you to drink again, responsibly

               your diehard atheism 

                        dissolving into dwindling shimmers of faith

      with illegal underground businesses

amidst nihilistic existence

          and pathetic smiles

                                 that made it impossible for me to picture life without you

        and your short cuts

and similarly repetitive haircuts 

            and then closure

                   as you finally decided to wear your hair long

           indulging in salty pleasures

 and basics of proper nail care

                   trying calmed concerns, and frightful fears

           among pervasive gossip,

silenced rumors

                 and perennial pain

                     You made love to me, I raped you

                You offered me your innocence, I tossed it into the Dead Sea

          I’m like you in so many ways

We’re nothing like each other

Stop proofreading, you’re done, decide already

                           […]

                     To all the schizophrenic memories,

                                       to Beirut.